One.

Im feeling so disappointed right now. Or just some kinda way. I just need one person in my life that i can believe in, count on, love and trust. Just one. I have family that gives me so much love, but is it really impossible to find one stranger in ths world that you can share your world with? Homicide is high, divorce is high, world poverty and crime is high. I plan on traveling the world at some point and hopefully sooner than later. I want to see the art, the old cities, and wittness history, but in my travels Im mostly excited to meet new people, not just new people but different people. I want to know more than just people with that New York state of mind. Im from a different place. In Barbados, its customary for you to greet a stranger. If you can make eye contact, you can say hello. I love that. Going back home is a bit of fresh air for me. I like the kind faces and the humble breezes. The sun shines on the poor like is does on the rich. The rain simply washes away your sin and you can see the world end at the feet of the distant ocean. I need to meet just one. Im not cut out for the ordinary. I need the extrodinary. I have to keep hope alive because if i dont then all hope is lost and i'll be unhappy forever. I like people and i love family. I enjoy talking with old, because they have so much wisdom to offer. Mr. Went was super old, and a little cooky but he made his point. "Its good to have friends, but not fri-ends!" I wanted to laugh when he told me this, but i was young. Now i still laugh at it but i now understand what he meant. I would like just one. One that can give me all that i will give them. I can act cold and ignorant, but i get tired of been like that. I wasnt raised in Brooklyn, I never lived in the Projects. I never had food stamps and my family never recieved public assistance. The men in my family tote guns, but their law enforcement. My whole family lived with in one block. I was raised in a 2 parent home. No one ever went to jail or even got arrested. We had one big family, and shared one big love. I lived a shelter life under my parents supervision. So naturally im a Dolphin. And im proud of it. Im not better than anyone im not cut from very fine cloth. I would like just one. One true friend, one true love, one successful career and one family of my own so i can enjoy my one life. Is that to much to ask? I must say, My mother was right. Im mixing with too much common ghetto trash at my current job and its begining to wear on my personality and spirit. I wish to surround myself with blooming open minds. I can honestly say without a pinch of arrogance that there is absolutely nothing positive anyone at my job can teach me about life, except about how not to trust or be to kind to people. Thats very sad. When theres no more to learn, its time to move on. Im no saint, so im nobodys fool. My kindness is far from weakness. I just know when people arrent worth the fight. I really dont see it as being used or played, i see it as God allowing me to be the one to help you at that moment in time. And the favor will be returned in this life or the next. There so much more i can say or feelings i could express, but it all comes down to one. I need just one. Just one to keep my faith in the goodness of people alive.